you

if to be with you is only a dream,
then I'll be dreaming for forever
cause seeing your face make me ache
of those past that came unwillingly
may we someday meet
when we are other person than before
hope you'll recognize me as a friend
and I'll recognized you as my crush
life's so cruel
you just don't have choices in things you want
or perhaps you're afraid
to stand out, to rise up
to leave others
for achieving yours

sweet memoir of you
-wanie-

masa kecik1 - belajar

dilahirkan dalam keluarga ibarat kais pagi makan pagi,
pembelajaran kami adik beradik tak pernah diabaikan
sekering-kering tangki minyak kereta mak, 
dia tetap akan hantar kitaorang pergi sekolah
dulu tunggu bas sekolah, hujan2 pun sanggup tunggu
semata-mata tak nak terlepas, walaupun sehari
pernah mintak kat mak, nak cuti boleh tak?
demam...
jawapan dia sama je, demam la panas mana pun
pening la ribut mana pun
jawapan tetap tak boleh, kitaorang pun mula lah hurm...
belajar belajar belajar

kak sue suka belajar
mak cakap dulu dia suka baca buku
aku pulak, walaupun mak tak cakap apa,
tapi aku tahu apa keje aku buat
tengok cerita cina pukul 6
mula buat kerja sekolah bila dah pukul 10 ke atas
kalau sekolah lain mungkin sempat nak siap sebelum pukul12
tapi sekolah puteri jalan labu?jangan harap la
tidur pun dekat pukul2 ke 3
itu pun belum gerenti kerja sekolah habis siap

adik aku?
dia mestilah ikut jejak langkah akak dia
iaitu aku,hehe
tengok cerita sama2, main sama2
tapi aku tak perasan bila masa dia buat keje
last2 tinggal aku seorang je terkontang kanting
siapkan kerja sekolah,huhu

sekarang semuanya dah besar
mak aku pun dah tua, dah tak membebel macam dulu dah
pegang buku tak pegang buku, dia tak kisah
yang aku ingat, tiap kali nak berpisah, mesti dia pesan belajar rajin2
lepas tu dia sedih, menangis
masa kecik2 aku pun tak tau kenapa dia selalu sangat sedih
tapi bila dah besar ni, lepas berapa tahun aku tengok dia jerih susah payah
besarkan kitaorang, sekolahkan kitaorang, sara hidup kitaorang
aku faham dah, kenapa dia nangis dulu
dan aku tahu dah maksud sebenar dugaan hidup

tujuan aku tulis entry ni?
aku pun tak tahu kenapa
sebab benda ni kenangan, legend dalam hidup aku
yang tak mungkin ada orang lain dekat posisi aku sebagai seorang shazwani
rindu kat mak aku? mungkin ya, tapi aku doakan dia baik2 saja
kadang2 aku suka putar balik kenangan dulu
sebab benda2 macam ni boleh insafkan aku
kukuhkan hubungan kami sekeluarga
dan mana tahu satu hari nanti
aku mungkin dah nyanyuk
atau ditarik nikmat oleh Allah s.w.t
bolehlah singgah balik blog ni, kalau2 masih ingat nak tekan apa
harap2 semua baik2 sahaja

p/s: wanie redha dengan kehadiran dan pemergian abah, semoga dicucuri rahmat, amin

tenang

musibah
tiada siapa minta
tapi hampir semua orang dapat

ketenangan
ramai yang impikan
tapi tak semua orang kecapi

ketenangan dan kelapangan
hanya seorang je dalam dunia ni yang ada kedua2nya
Rasulullah
Nabi Muhammad (S.A.W)

jauhnya sikap kita nak dibanding dengan nabi
baru dijentik sikit, dah meraung2
baru di'cucuk' sikit, hati dah meruap2
sejenak terfikir,baru kita kembali tenang

hati punya nafsu,
hati punya perasaan,
tapi bagaiman nak kawal kedua2nya,
masih tidak ketahuan

indahnya hidup bila tenang
semua yang berlaku pasti ada hikmah
tak timbul soal prasangka dan hasad
semua dijalani dengan hati yang lapang

percaya adanya Tuhan
percaya hadirnya takdir
keep faith strong and stronger
lets just not settle with a tiny 'iman'
should we

life is uncertain

that face
i can't forget
and i'm not sure
so i'll let it be
until everything
is as clear
as my mind think

i am not hopeful
tired being hopeful
so we agreed
to let it go
as the flow goes by
as we might not be us
as the years pass

dreams could be beautiful
as what we wanted
when reality isn't
as the road not yet taken
we both dreams
we both aim
hopefully the fate
turns out well

Word Today - Nenek

Nenek

that word teach me a lot of things
that word memorizes me a lot of memories
that word came from a gentle hand
with a deep gaze, enough to melt someone's heart

enek
you are such a fine lady
i hardly had time to notice your flaws
in anywhere at anytime
cause you always resemble what best to me

enek
you have a generous heart
right from before till the day present
you give out your gaze and a warm smile
I totally miss you so much that I could die

enek
I remember the times when we had to apart
you gave one piece of RM 50 inside my hand
no matter how many times I try to refuse
you were there, as if you know how I need that much
just to continue my life

enek
remember that time?
where we used to sleep together
on your cramp, and damp bed
you always hug me, although I hate it, sometimes
you even give me the most dense blanket I'd ever seen
just to protect me, from those tiny bites

enek
did you remember that time?
when I accidentally hit my sister
with a broken glass plate
and a continuously dripping of blood
you where there, trying hard, defending me
when everybody else, straightly accusing, offending me

enek
I am just a child
right until now, I am just a child in your eyes
theres no deep gaze anymore
no warm smile to treasure
the one that is with me right now
is just as dead as a dead person

enek
I am sorry
I know I am not that rich
I don't have the money to give to you
not like what you have done to me

enek
I am sorry
I know I am not capable enough
to care for you, to hold you like we used to
regrets is perhaps what best that I can do now

p/w: enek, lately I have been dreaming, to find a place, where I could rent, to care for both you and mum, to cook for both of you, if only I am that capable, if only....

I hope that, Allah grants my wishes, hope your child cares more on you, hope your child did't treat you like a burden, hope you have a happy ending

till then I am sorry, that I love you, so much